Martha Throebeck, our Ozarks fake news reporter, is the head cook for an elementary school in Bollinger County. She is nicknamed "Mrs. Tastes Like Chicken" for her legendary mystery meat dishes. Her relaxed personality and tendency to ignore FDA guidelines by fixing pork steaks and fried chicken instead of fruits and vegetables make her a real hit with school children. She currently resides in Marquand, but hopes to move to the big city of Marble Hill to escape from her crazy uncle who lives next door. Twice divorced, Martha is now involved in a hot, steamy long distance relationship with a guy in California she met in an AOL chatroon, but she does have a lingering suspicion that "Fernando" is probably 35 years older than he claims. Her favorite hobbies include quilting, photography, and illegally picking wildflowers from state property.

Larry Cooner, our correspondent from Neckred County, is the county's elected dog catcher.